nightmare crown
a country house whodunnit, corporate conspiracy, and my favourite game for the nintendo wii
I never really got into the Sims game franchise, but as a child I absolutely loved the spin-off series My Sims.
Rather than the user controlled life simulator experience of the mainline games, the My Sims games featured predetermined stories populated by a cast of lovable, ridiculous characters in a new cutesy, chibi-style Sims world. Players would create their own character who would then play out the story of the game, befriending the Sims around them, completing quests, missions, or mini-games, and completing goals to progress the story. In the earliest of these games, these goals would focus on developing friendships and completing goals around town, making it a simple, character focused, lighter version of the regular Sims games, while retaining things like simlish, and iconography like essences and plumbobs. A later edition, My Sims Kingdom, allowed the player to become a sorceror who would travel across a fantasy kingdom using their powers to solve problems and construct things on a series of themed islands(islands with princesses and castles, an island with cowboys and ruffians, a prehistoric island, a school island, a spooky haunted house island, etc.). But my absolute favourite of these games1 was…
My Sims Agents(2009)
In My Sims Agents, the player character, joined by comic artist/comic relief sidekick Buddy, is starting out as a private investigator, looking into small neighbourhood mysteries and disputes. While investigating the truth of whether a dog in the park belongs to local florist Poppy or to malevolent businessman Morcubus—imagine the billionaire CEOs of our world if they were somehow even more cartoonishly evil—in order to return to the dog to the right owner(who turns out to be, obviously, Poppy), the player is recruited to join an investigative agency, which seems to be sort of like an in universe equivalent to the CIA or James Bond’s MI6. But, fortunately, while this is a world full of mysteries and strangeness to be investigated, it is also a childlike pretend world free of meaningful violence or a carceral justice system, and so it largely(although of course, these sorts of tropes and are never free from issues and remain adjacent to copaganda) avoids the problematic associations of these types of organisations as they exist in the real world.
As an agent, the player now gets to solve various mysteries and cases, which take the team all over the sims world, and lead them into a complex conspiracy of science gone too far, evil corporations, and secrets coming unburied…
This game, only existing as it does on the Nintendo Wii, is pretty much inaccessible and unplayable now, which is a tragedy, so(with the recognition that this has no audience) I am here to discuss the gameplay, explain the main mysteries, and share what I unironically love about this very silly adventure game.
Note: If you received this newsletter in your inbox, you may need to open in a browser or the app to read to the end. All images here(too many, hence the formatting issues!) are taken by me, although you may notice I forgot to get images for several of the middle chapters of the game! sorry!
Cracking the case
The game is divided into a number of ‘cases’, where the player must seek out evidence and follow leads in order to answer a question. An in game notebook is used to keep track of clues and guide the player on what leads can be followed, and as you gain more information about a case, you piece together the true answer to the mystery in the notebook. Other tools at your disposal include a magnifying glass which can be used to highlight hidden footprints and tracks, a wrench, and a crowbar, all of which eventually are replaced by more high-tech spy gear later in the game.
In order to find clues, the player looks for evidence, follows footsteps, talks to witnesses, does chemical analysis, hacks into computers, picks locks, fixes broken objects, and many other activities, many of which involve completing little mini games. Completing these little tasks and solving puzzles makes the process of cracking a case very satisfying, especially as these actions are paired with intriguing sound cues that assure players that they are on the right track.
The player can also hire characters they meet throughout the game to join their agency, and then send them off on missions while the player solves cases. They send text updates as they complete their missions, and at times will ask for guidance from the player, which influences the success of the mission. This is a mechanic that creates a lot of fun dialogue and entertaining stories, but is also pretty tedious and hard to feel engaged in when the player is just reading messages about a cool side story without really getting to participate in it.
The story begins in a small metropolitan area, but as the game goes on the player is able to visit more areas in the city using the above ground metro trains, opening access to the Sims Protection Agency office2 as well as an industrial district and the beach. Using the agency’s jet, the team also travels to a mountain ski resort, a southern gothic mansion, and an ancient temple, although this does not offer the same freedom of travel that the train does. In each area, the player solves a number of local mysteries, meets new characters, and learns important information to move the main story forward.
As you explore new areas, there are often platforming sections that require the player to make their way on top of buildings(often made possible by rearranging crates or stepping stones), carefully balance to get across tree branches or telephone wires, and make their way through various environments. There are also a few specific sequences where the player goes into a side scrolling gameplay mode to make their way through a maze like series of tunnels, usually procuring evidence or hidden treasures along the way.
Other fun things: the player collects outfits and hairstyles throughout the game by completing cases or finding hidden treasure chests, allowing them to completely customise their character. Similarly, the player collects furniture and items that can be used to decorate the office, letting them arrange four different spaces in the building with the objects found, which also provide skill bonuses to agents on missions.
Detective agency
The game is framed by the narration of Buddy, a comic book artist and writer who tells us the story of how he got his start working alongside a rookie detective turned secret agent, who is our player character.
I think the game is pretty much supposed to be taken at face value, but there’s kind of a fun meta narrative at play here. This frame story is presented somewhat ambiguously—are we actually reading Buddy’s memoir about the past and how he came to be an artist? Or is this just a comic book story, complete with lots of comedy, exagerrated characters and set pieces, clichés and tropes? Many of the story’s sillier moments or more melodramatic twists makes me think it could even be some combination of the two, like his life story reimagined as a tale of mystery and intrigue and secret agents.
The comic book art style, accompanied by Buddy’s narration, is seen here at the beginning of the story before we jump into normal game play, but it reappears at key moments in the story later on, especially when concluding mysteries, suggesting again that some of the fanciful solutions and bizarre reveals are fabrications for Buddy’s comic.
rookie detective
The introduction of the main character segues into a character creation screen, and then the story begins! Early on, Buddy and the player are solving small mysteries in their neighbourhood and hanging out at the local pizza parlour, but soon their investigations connect them to a bigger mystery surrounding the malevolent and mysterious MorcuCorp, which seems to have its hand in everything from corruption in the mayor’s office to suspicious mountain expeditions. The mystery solvers are recruited to the Sims Protection Agency, and drawn further into this conspiracy by the appearance of Evelyn, a woman in the neighbourhood who asks for help with a burglary. Investigation reveals that the thief was after documents and notebooks kept by her father, a scientist involved in a top secret project who went missing years ago, and who had a history with Morcubus.
My favourite characters: Gino, the pizza chef who takes his ingredients so seriously that he has secret maps locked in a safe that protect the location of things like the mountains where he sources cheese, etc. and Skip, the corrupt mayor who misappropriates city funds and creates a puppet department to secretly send flowers to his crush. I also really enjoy the introduction of characters who work in the agency, like the cleanliness obsessed lab technician Roxie, and Jenny, the disinterested receptionist who spends her work day writing fan fiction about her favourite sci fi show.3
the frozen lodge
In order to learn more about the project and what MorcuCorp might be after, the team decide to track down another scientist on the project who might have answers for them, P.W. They visit a remote mountain resort, and when they arrive they learn that a man named Preston Winthrop has disappeared, and his ditzy fiancée Beebee claims he has been kidnapped by a yeti.
The player traverses the mountainside and follows tracks to discover a cave, but instead of finding Preston, they meet Paul Wisniewski, an isolated but gentle yeti living in the mountain. The detective brings Paul to the lodge, but he is promptly arrested by rival agents. Preston has returned and claims that he escaped after Paul had held him captive in the cave, and the agents further believe the yeti is responsible for significant damage that has been done to the lodge.
Faced with two stories about yetis and Preston’s disappearance, and two possible P.W.s who might be able to provide leads in the MorcuCorp investigation, the detective agrees to investigate. They discover clues which reveal that Preston faked his own kidnapping, hiding out in tunnels connecting the ranger’s stations on the mountain and then using a yeti costume to fake a yeti attack on the ski lodge. He had been hoping to have the lodge shut down, as Preston is the heir to a water bottling company and has been trying to obtain land in the area for a new factory. Paul is released, having been used as a convenient scape-yeti for Preston’s schemes, and he later confirms to the player that he is the P.W. they were looking for—long ago, he was one of the scientists working on creating something called “the nightmare crown” alongside Morcubus and Evelyn’s father. His memories are hazy, but he tells them that something terrible happened during their experimentation and that he was turned into a yeti, destroyed the lab, and fled to the mountains. He warns them of the dangers of the nightmare crown, and believes Morcubus plans to recreate the original crown experiment.
My favourite characters: Vic and Rosalyn, the agents sent to capture the yeti who are very obviously modelled after the leads of the X-files. Nova, the yeti obsessed, conspiracy believing ski lodge owner. Preston and Beebee, the rich kids at the ski lodge are very funny. I also love Paul the yeti, who is earnest and adorable. Plus, Wolfah, a cool wolf(all the animals in this game, because of the My Sims art style, are like little ovals that walk around, and it’s adorable) that the player befriends while exploring the mountain.4
robots and ravers
Buddy and the player explore a new part of the city where there are rumours of MorcuCorp meddling in an industrial neighbourhood which includes a junk yard, the night club of DJ Candy, and the laboratories of Dr. F. Through a series of mysteries around the neighbourhood, the team discovers strange occurences, mysterious technologies, and a secret MorcuCorp mining operation under the city, mining crystals which could be used to fabricate fortunite, the rare gem that was used in the nightmare crown.
My favourites: This chapter has lots of fun personalities, including our MorcuCorp antagonists, the passive agressive Brandi and the agressive agressive Esma, who are in the neighbourhood under the pretense of a MorcuCorp tree planting initiative. Dr. F is a completely ridiculous mad rocket scientist, tempered by his much more scientifically inclined assistant Alexa, and their robots, the sarcastic T.O.B.O.R and Makoto, a human emulating robot who hangs out at the club, are really fun additions to the cast.
the mansion mystery
The detectives learn of a fortunite crystal owned by the recently deceased Cyrus Boudreaux, and they decide to attend his will reading in order to prevent the crystal from falling into Morcubus’ hands. It turns out that Poppy, who was the first client the player helps in the game, has been invited due to a family connection, and (after the player recovers her missing mail from a bird’s nest on top of a large construction site) she gives the invitation to Buddy and the player, who jet off to Cyrus’ mansion in the bayou, where they meet a cast of eccentric and wealthy characters attending the will reading, including a theatrical actor, a refined literature afficionado, a well known fashion designer, and Violet, Poppy’s goth older sister. They also meet Madame Zoe, a spirit medium and Cyrus’ niece, and the mansion’s butler, Zombie Carl. Everyone in attendance seems to be after the crystal, but just before the reading begins, Zoe announces that the crystal has been smashed! With a mansion full of suspects, another investigation begins.
The detective investigates the scene of the crime, talks to attendees, and learns the house’s secrets, and with everyone’s help, Buddy puts on a Hamlet-style play reenacting the crime to try and sus out the culprit. Initially, all clues point to Zombie Carl smashing the crystal with a hammer, and his emotional reaction to the play, using a dumbwaiter to escape to the rafters of the house, suggests guilt. Violet insists that he is innocent and asks the player to help him.
After fixing the dumbwaiter and exploring hidden areas in the attic and secret passages of the house, it is discovered that Carl was acting under the influence of hypnosis from Madame Zoe, who had replaced the crystal with a fake, and hoped to convince everyone that Carl had destroyed it so she could keep the real fortunite for herself. The crystal is recovered and the will is finally read, revealing that Cyrus has left everything to Violet, the most selfless among the party, and she confides to the player that the reason she and Poppy were invited was because they grew up with Cyrus, who had worked with their mother alongside the other scientists on the nightmare crown project(which was responsible for turning Carl into a Zombie). He had possession of the last remaining fortunite crystal, which she then gives to the agents for safekeeping.
My favourites: this is easily my favourite section of the game! I love the atmosphere of the mystery in a mansion full of suspects, I love the group of pretentious possible culprits, like Trevor, the goofy Shakespearian actor. To complete the story are the gentle but tragic figures of Violet and Zombie Carl, and I love the setting of the funky, southern gothic manor house where this section takes place, complete with rotating fire place, a massive library, alligators in the swamp outside, and lots of secrets to uncover.
beach episode
Rumours of new MorcuCorp schemes send the player to a new part of the city: the boardwalk There, they find another series of mysteries and both new and familiar characters, including Yuki, a MorcuCorp employee often seen hanging around the agency headquarters who now is running the Muba(Morcubus scuba) shop at the beach. The player helps the owner of a local surf shop investigate damaged surf boards, looks into missing crab traps, helps a young girl and her ‘imaginary’ friend Mr. Suckers, who turns out to be a real giant squid, and eventually these cases lead to a secret base. As expected, the ‘Muba’ shop was yet another cover for nefarious MorcuCorp activity, and Yuki has secretly been using a submarine to explore the sea in search of a sunken ship believed to be nearby. The team learns that Evelyn’s father and the others took the nightmare crown after the failed test, putting it on a ship to get it away from Morcubus and hide its location. The player locates the shipwreck and with help from Dr. F, who happens to be on a beach holiday with his robot, sends T.O.B.O.R underwater to investigate the wreck, but instead of the crown, he uncovers a treasure chest with a map pointing to a mysterious destination in the jungle.
More fav characters: The boardwalk is packed with lots of good characters like a cool surf bro, a sushi chef, Justice the tattoo artist, obnoxious daredevil Chad and his hype man Tim, and most importantly, Goth Boy, an emo haired poet forced to work at the ‘Turkey on a Spork’ stand on the boardwalk.
the lost temple
The last chapter is a classic adventure story as the player, Evelyn, and Buddy set out to find the location of the nightmare crown. Along with their new guide, Lyndsay, they explore several temples in a remote jungle, as well as a massive tree inhabited by lemurs, and must solve puzzles in order to gain entry to the main temple, where the map has led them. Once inside, they meet a man who calls himself King Mike, but when they ask about the crown, he escapes deeper into the temple, so the player must go after him, traversing a series of rooms with more puzzles. Finally, the player finds Mike, who has been living alone in the temple for many years and has lost his sense of reality, and he helps them recover the crown, which he had hidden years before. As they leave together, he encounters Evelyn, and it is revealed that he is her long lost father, who disappeared in order to protect the nightmare crown’s location.
Unfortunately, their reunion is cut short when Morcubus and MorcuCorp employees arrive, having followed the player and waited for them to do the work of finding the crown. Morcubus steals the nightmare crown and dons it, opening up a portal to the nightmare realm which puts everyone in danger. In order to save them, Evelyn pushes Morcubus through the portal, sealing it off and leaving them both trapped on the other side.
Favourites: Vincent Skullfinder, a self involved and slightly sinister archaeologist who serves to get in the player’s way while they look for clues in the temples.
the end?
The team returns to the agency, having thwarted Morcubus’ plan and recovered both Mike Gray and the nightmare crown, but they are unable to rescue Evelyn. The player is congratulated on their success and all of the good they’ve done for the city along the way by the head of the Sims Protective Agency, and the story comes to an end. There are no more cases to solve, for now, and the sims world is safe.
nightmare realm
I mentioned in the gameplay section earlier that there is a rather tedious feature where, throughout the game, the player can complete side quests by sending teams of characters they have befriended out on missions of their own, all of which tell little stories via text message updates from the NPC characters. There are a huge number of these side quests, and even if the player keeps up with them and completes them throughout the main story, there are too many to actually complete in the course of the game.
However, if the player is extremely determined and willing to sit around doing nothing except wait for these in game text messages to progress the missions, it is possible to complete every last one. This unlocks a final mission, where a team of agents is able to use new technology to reopen a portal to the nightmare realm. At the end, Evelyn is rescued(although Morcubus is freed as well) and returns to reunite with the player, her other friends, and her father, bringing the story to its true ending.
I’ve played this game an honestly embarrassing number of times over the years, and it remains a game I think of really fondly. It’s exceedingly silly, with some occasionally very 2000s *random* humor, the story is melodramatic and absurd, it’s a weird Sims spin off that you can only play on the nintendo wii. But My Sims Agents somehow works, still, in spite of all its flaws, filled with fun puzzles and satisfying game play, memorable locations to explore, and an endearing cast of quirky characters, and more than anything it has so much love for the mystery novels and spy stories and comic book adventures it borrows tropes from. All of this makes for a very rewarding experience of a game that is genuine and enthusiastic about its place in popular culture and its relationship to the player experience, and its a game that will always have a special place in my heart, as a childhood and forever favourite.
sul sul!
isobel
The games were all released for both the Nintendo DS and the Nintendo Wii, but while the concepts and some other elements were the same, the gameplay and storylines for each game differed by console. For the most part, the Wii games were far superior, and this is definitely true for My Sims Agents.
Video games are great because they let you experience fantasies like having a fast reliable public transit system that has a stop directly in front of your place of work.
She’s just like me fr (I may or may not draft a lot of newsletters at my office job…)
This ended up being just a list of all the characters in this chapter. They’re all great.