the second annual cloudtopians
on awards season(again)
welcome back to the Cloudtopian awards! In this annual newsletter, I share my nominees and winners from the past year’s film releases for a range of unserious and non-traditional awards categories hyper specifically tailored to what I love (and don’t love) in movies.
(Before we get into it, a quick note: this newsletter is best viewed in a browser or the substack app — if you received this as an email, you might need to open it elsewhere to read to the end.)
This week we’re talking about awards shows, my recommendations for five strange films I’ve been thinking about lately, and unveiling the March page of the Cloudtopia calendar!!
the cloudtopian awards
We are deep in the heart of film and television awards season, and the Oscars are coming up this weekend, and I am so excited. I have awards season fever! I love speculation! I love spectacle! I love movies!
Last year was the first annual Cloudtopians. At the time I was overcome by Oscar fever and the spirit of awards season. I watched just about every nominated film I could get my hands on and revelled in the speculation and spectacle of the cinematic sphere!
This year, I am finding it very hard to care. I still don’t have a best picture pick or a strong feeling about any of this year’s slate of potential Oscar winners. As a consequence, this year I’ve included far fewer categories than I did last year, and instead am keeping this short and sweet :)
Best Supporting Score:
These scores did a lot of heavy lifting for the writing and other creative choices of their films. The nominees are…
Reznor and Ross’s sporty synth score for Challengers
the high energy New-York-in-the-70s stylings of Jon Batiste in Saturday Night
the classic showtune motifs of Stephen Schwartz in Wicked
and the winner is… the titular soundtrack in Soundtrack to a Coup d’Etat1
Best Performance by a Vape
The cloudy nominees are…
Dakota Fanning’s vape in The Watchers
Anora’s vape in Anora
The vaping in Blink Twice
and the winner is… the iconic vaping of Cardinal Tedesco in Conclave
Best Affectation in the Category of Headwear
Witch hat from Wicked
Hat that Jesse Eisenberg wears all the time for some reason in A Real Pain
Anora’s hair tinsel in Anora
DJ Próvaí’s republican balaclava in Kneecap
and the winner is… the weird glasses Elphaba and Bowen Yang wear in Wicked
Best Affectation in the Category of Weird Voices
Imagine if being an annoying theatre kid was a full time job. Well, through the magic of the movies, it is! The nominees are…
Timothee Chalamet does the Bob Dylan Voice in A Complete Unknown
(controversy alert!) Adrien Brody’s AI-assisted Hungarian in The Brutalist
Young Billy Crystal and other fun impressions in Saturday Night.
Margaret Qualley’s accent in Drive Away Dolls
and the winner is… the Nosferatu voice in Nosferatu2
Best Show Within a Show
The Tonight Show in Saturday Night
Wiz-o-mania in Wicked
Lady Raven concert in Trap
and the winner is… The Pink Opaque in I Saw the TV Glow
Achievement by a Riverdale Alumnus
This very special award goes to…. Camila Mendes for appearing in two mid tier streaming service rom coms this year <3 I’m so happy for her.
Congratulations also to Jughead for playing the Creature in Lisa Frankenstein
Best Road Trip
a tour of southern gay bars and criminal conspiracies in Drive Away Dolls
getting kidnapped and driven across the desert is a kind of road trip in Emilia Pérez
Lindsay Lohan driving to the Cliffs of Moher and saying “I feel like I just stepped into a James Joyce novel” (?????) in Irish Wish
and the winner is… Will and Harper’s road trip in Will & Harper <3
Best Weird Advertising in a Film(Hater Category)
car commercial in Godzilla x Kong
a feast of product placement/sponsorships in Challengers
maybe it’s just me but are half of the scenes in Mean Girls just ads for social media apps?
and the winner is… the bizarre product placement for a certain cola beverage in Madame Web3
Achievement in the Male Gaze(Hater Category)
Awarded to… Sean Baker for Anora! It is incredible work to make an entire film about and named after a female character and then give her no interiority at all!
Longest film I Sat Through(Hater Category)
This was a VERY competitive category this year!!! Why is everything so long! Some great movies made this list, and the nominees are…
Anora(2 hours 19 minutes)
Wicked(2 hours 40 minutes)
Dune part two(2 hours 46 minutes)
and the winner is a movie so long I simply could not convince myself to watch it… The Brutalist(3 hours and 35 minutes of human time)
and finally,
Best Leading Little Animal
Nothing better than seeing a little creature on screen. The nominees are…
Turtles from Conclave
Greta the cat from Nosferatu
5000 trained rats from Nosferatu
Gromit from Wallace and Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl
and the winner is… the cat in Flow (and also the capybara and lemur.) (and dogs and birds and whale.) (I cried.)
Films I am thinking about!!!
I’m not sure what to call this mini section because these aren’t necessarily Oscars relevant, nor are they necessarily recommendations — I have to include this caveat because I would not “recommend” Fire Walk With Me given its content and the fact that it requires a LOT of context(the others you should definitely go ahead and watch though!)— but they are films that have been on my mind recently in different ways.
Each of these films has phenomenal visuals, strange, dreamlike moods, haunted and haunting female leads.
Picnic at Hanging Rock(1975)
This movie starts on St. Valentine’s Day in 1900 and follows the mysterious occurrences at an Australian girl’s school and the unravelling of its haunted characters following the disappearance of three students and a teacher at Hanging Rock. I discussed the story of Picnic and its unsettling resonances in one of my favourite pieces from last year, but this movie absolutely drips with atmosphere and its eerie story and incredible sense of the uncanny makes it a fascinating watch that haunts long after the story is over.
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me(1992)
This film acts as a prequel to television’s Twin Peaks, and primarily follows Laura Palmer and the events leading up to her death at the beginning of the show. This film is unsettling and scary and devastatingly sad. It takes the story in a much darker direction than the show ever did, but shares its same uncanniness, and is beautifully shot, making it an interesting watch in conversation with Picnic.
Sheryl Lee’s performance as Laura is absolutely incredible, transforming her from the dead homecoming queen of tv fame into a much more complex and emotionally compelling character, both elevating her to an almost mythological tragic figure while also rooting her in a deeply painful and multifaceted humanity.
The Red Shoes
A gorgeous film that explores the meaning of art, life, and love through a psychological, dramatic retelling of the classic fable of the red shoes. The heroine of this tale finds herself torn between two worlds and consumed by her need to dance and perform(“Why do you want to dance?” she is asked, to which her response is immediate: “why do you want to live?”). This is one of the most beautiful movies ever made, telling its story through striking technicolor visuals and masterful ballet sequences.
Nosferatu the Vampyre(1979)
If you have been following 2024 films you may have seen the newest adaptation of Nosferatu, or the iconic 1922 film that upon which it is based. But perhaps my favourite version of this classic vampire story is Werner Herzog’s 1979 adaptation. While all three films follow the same story and beats(and many sequences are remade shot for shot), this version adds a memorable, devastating twist to its ending and stands out for its incredible female lead, played here by iconic haunted actress Isabelle Adjani, who feels much more like the central figure in this version of the story and is granted a great deal of agency and plays a very active role in the story and the fight against the forces of evil represented by the titular vampyre. The location of Delft, a Dutch town perhaps better associated with being the home and frequent subject of the artist Johannes Vermeer or its distinctive ceramics, is used to film the village scenes and really evokes a spooky, storybook atmosphere onscreen. The plague theme is handled in a really interesting and unique way as well, and all of these factors and interesting details make this version of the Nosferatu story really stand out.
Delftware, Isabelle Adjani in Nosferatu, View of Delft by Johannes Vermeer Daisies(1966)
I cannot think of any concise way to explain what Daisies is about, nor do I really want to: this film is very vibes-based. It is weird and funny and unsettling. It is a film where two girls pull pranks, eat massive quantities of stolen food, hang from chandeliers, die I think but are also totally fine? The leading women of this film are probably the least haunted of any on this list, but that doesn’t mean they won’t stick with you, and this film is rich with strange atmosphere and the sense of being in a dream. They laugh, they cry, they’re horrible, they’re wonderful.
thanks for joining me for this year’s cloudtopian awards, and for reading this week’s somewhat eclectic lil newsletter! are there any 2024 films I missed in my nominations? other weird categories for consideration? if you have any thoughts or want to argue with any of my choices please leave a comment, subscribe, recommend this newsletter to a friend, or get into an argument about it with someone in real life :)
see u at the movies,
isobel
this is the only one in this category where I don’t mean this as a criticism… while the other nominees are weak movies that I think are really strengthened by their awesome scores, Soundtrack to a Coup d’Etat not only has an incredible soundtrack, but the music is integral to the story its telling and the entire project in a way that is really well executed and powerful!
solicitorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i took the names of all of the products out of this section lol! no free advertising. if your company had product placement in one of these films and wants me to name drop it, please get in touch with an offer. thanks.
this was better than all the award shows this year combined